Partnership

We're back!

It's been awhile since we blogged and we have been missing it - we love to encourage others (thank you to all of you who have sent us your stories and comments) and be encouraged at the same time!  Blogging also helps keep us financially accountable.  It's so great when people ask us how our journey is going and we can honestly tell them we stick to our plan and follow it.  That being said, it IS a JOURNEY and the last time I checked, journeys aren't completed in one step.  Sometimes the road is long and hard and you don't feel like you're getting anywhere.  That's about how it's been for us this past month or so.  We are slowly making headway, but not as fast as we'd like.  Unexpected events have popped up here and there (read: life, it happens, deal with it) but we have been blessed enough to have an emergency fund to be able to pay for these things.  Murphy's law, people - when something can go wrong, it will go wrong.  So, be prepared with your savings and you'll never have to worry about Murphy again!  Let's get down to the good stuff, now. 

Something we want to talk about today is the importance of partnership (marriage) in our debt free marathon.  If you're single and reading this, then you need to get yourself an accountability partner - someone who has the same financial visions and morals/values as you and who is not afraid to tell you NO.  Many people say there are three important aspects you need to be in agreement on before you enter into a marriage:  religion, whether or not you want children (and how many if you do), and finances.  These things WILL make or break a marriage/relationship and you are only setting yourself up for failure (divorce, heartache) if you don't talk about them and get on the same page before you enter into this LIFELONG commitment and then CONTINUE to talk about them.  I'm going to go ahead and tell you that this saved our marriage before it even started. 

As part of our premarital counseling, my mother gave us the gift of going to see Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Live.  From there, we decided that we would go on to take his class, Financial Peace University.  It changed the way we viewed everything: money, life, you name it.  It allowed us to see and talk about things eye to eye.  Note: if you don't like this program, that's fine, I'm not trying to push anything on you, but please, PLEASE, have a solid financial plan and be in AGREEMENT on it BEFORE you get married.  You put yourself at risk to be broke, taken advantage of and commit or be the victim of financial infidelity.  You can't have a good marriage and hide things from one another; as my uncle says, "it will only end in tears, children." 

A few things (there are more, of course) that are important (to us, at least) in having a marriage filled with financial peace:  sharing a bank account, doing a budget together, write down your goals, and just keeping those lines of constant communication open.  Sharing a bank account - this allows you both to see where every dollar goes and helps prevent financial infidelity or even the temptation of it.  You and your spouse are more willing and able to hold each other accountable.  There is no worse feeling than seeing or hearing that your spouse is disappointed in you and doesn't trust you.  Ouch.  Don't give them a reason to be.  Share an account.  Doing a budget together - putting down on paper where every dollar for the month is going and giving it a name.  If it's not in the budget, you don't get to spend it.  That's that.  Both of you must agree before the month begins where to put the money and then DO IT.  We do our budget and then both sign it at the bottom of the page to commit to each other to follow it.  Write down your goals - how will you have a plan to get somewhere if you don't know where you're going in the first place?  Devise a plan and follow it.  Knowing what you both want, writing it down and saying it out loud to each other helps to make things more tangible and attainable, especially during times when you feel you're not making much progress.  Which brings me to my last point - communicate, communicate, communicate.  Hopefully, you already know this is important in any and every relationship, but especially in a marriage.  We keep each other motivated by talking about our dreams of what we want to do when we become debt free - pay for our kids' college educations in cash, own our paid-for dream home, travel the world together...it's fun to do these things and it keeps us motivated and connected at the same time. 

Be open and honest and willing to communicate with one another.  Listen to each other and have a plan.

Lastly, we live by these words:
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."
Proverbs 16:3

Faithfully,

The Culbreaths